Lindsay Lohan! This idiot is still in the headlines because she’s a coked out, drunk, LOSER! Really?! If we tell our kids that “drug free is the way to be,” than why do we glorify these crackish people with no final destination other than an overdose of course. I’m sorry, I know that’s mean, but I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again…I STATE THE FACTS!
Lawrence Taylor, because you’re just an ASS and cheaters never prosper! Next time, stick with ho’s your own age!
And last but definitely not least…F’in Rihanna! 
Dammit man, how many times do we have to tell this trick to stay the HELL away from Chris Breezy! We all saw him cry his heart out at the BET awards, and NO this was not for you, this was for him! I repeat, THIS SHIT WAS NOT ABOUT YOU! Yes, I know you’re in headlines across America regarding your budding romance, because we clearly know it’s not for your wack ass career, that has taken the same beating as your ex (pun intended)! In the words of Michael, “Just Leave Him Alone!”
Tell that to poor Mashonda. Not only did Ms. Homewrecking Keys steal Swizz from his wife, but she’s now sperminated! Sperminated! And to make matters worse, their flaunting their little relationship all in this poor woman’s face. I mean, do we no longer have morals? Marriages are supposed to be sacred, but thanks to Angelina Ho-Lie and Alicia Sleez, ladies trust and believe that your men are not safe! How the hell can you compete, I’m shaking in my damn stilettos! These huzzies are just waiting in the cracks and crevices plotting to steal your man, and then try to cover it up by acting all humanitarian in hopes that we’ll forget their sloreish activities.
NEWS FLA-ASH, not gonna happen! I mean, I guess I could congratulate you and all, but I just can’t! You might want to listen to your own lyrics, oh, you can’t remember, that’s okay, I”ll help you to refresh, ”what goes around, comes around, what goes up, must come down!” Yes, Karma trick! Karma will come back to bite you in the ass! And when it does, I’d hate to say I told you so.
Recently, I’ve begun getting a number of facebook request from high school and college people (no idea what to call them) that believe in the back of their minds that at some point or another we were friends. Come to think of it, maybe they don’t think we were friends, maybe they’re just trying to be nosey and see how life has turned out for me, and I get it, I was rather interesting in school and although I was not the warmest person, many wanted to be my friend. However, in most of these cases these nimwits who are requesting me on facebook were NOT my friends in school. In fact, I tend to remember having a number of volatile interactions with these people. There was the “mean girl” clique in high school, where a number of girls thought it would be cute to create an “I hate april” group because, ummm, yeah, I don’t know, I guess they just hated me! And then there were the lonely, how do I say this delicately, sloreish heffers in college who were just Sloreish (don’t tell anyone I said this but they were kind of unattractive as well) and quite frankly, I don’t associate with ugly people! Sorry, but I state the facts…
Now, fast forward ten years and you have a group of people who seem to have caught a bit of amnesia and think that for some reason I will come to an event to support their cause, read their blog or give them a bit of advice, but guess what?! It ain’t happenin’! If I didn’t like you then, I damn sure don’t like you now; I don’t care how old I’ve gotten or how many years have passed by I DON’T want to know how you’re doing, because I honestly don’t care that you had kids, spent some time in South Africa, ran a marathon, got dumped or dropped out!
In other words, NO, I don’t want to have dinner or drinks to reminisce about the fact that I thought you might have been a loser or simply a waste of space. In actuality, at the time, I thought most of you were mistakes that your parents were probably still regretting! Thus, when you log on and check your pending request and see that it’s been more than two months and I still have not confirmed you, know that I’m still that same girl, with the attitude and sarcastic remarks who at one point or another said to you, “if you are in need of a few kind words or a friend, you should look into a lifetime membership at the Lonely Hearts club, because I could care less about your thoughts or feelings!”
While beach bunnying it up at Manhattan Beach in BK with the lovelies, I came across Respucia! Looks like they’re beginning to film Norbit Part 2!
For whatever reason large women all over the world are getting to comfortable with their fatness and thinking everyone wants to see it, and quite frankly we DON’T! Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against big women, I happen to be curvy myself, key word (CURVY) however, I do believe that you should wear clothes that are flattering, and that means not wearing a two piece bathing suit when you are 200 AND PLUS! If I’m wearing a tankini with some shorts to hide my thighs, you should take a DAMN HINT! And thank you Ms. Mo’Nique for giving big women everywhere confidence to be FREE, however even WILLY the whale had to be caged at some point and so it’s time for these women to do the same, COVER UP! No one wants to see you BIG ASSES spread out across the beach, it scares the children and makes everyone think that mammals have begun to rise out of the ocean and take over our land and quite frankly we just aren’t prepared as a nation for that yet!
I’m back Bitches! I know, I know you’ve missed me but fear not little one’s your favorite gossip vixen is back and better than ever. And to kick it off, I want to celebrate the return of Chris Breezy! Oh yes, he’s not dead people, he’s just risen. I mean, where was he for that tired ass MJ Celebration last year, one might ask?!Well, the shamefully poisonous network formerly known as “Blacks Embarrassing Themselves” didn’t invite him, instead they opted for recovering addicts New Edition! But whatever, I’m over it. All that matters is, you finally won them over. Did you see his performance?! He killed it! He was so good that the formerly fat creature himself Perez Hilton, gave him credit.
So where do we go from here Chris? Well, I say keep it pushin’ pimpin’ (well maybe we don’t want to use pimpin’ with you bitch slappin’ hoes and all, but you know what I mean!) The talent you posess is something that is lacking in the R&B world and we need you Chris - with Michael gone and Whitney crackin’ it up, we have no one to turn to for our musical sanity except for you! And for those who keep doubting you, tell them hoes to kick rocks because can’t nobody do it better than you!
Remember the big haired, screaming chick that had the hit song “Milk Shake” back in 03’ and was married to the one and only, Nasty Nas? Well recently, she was awarded a whopping $55,000 A MONTH in spousal and child support. Can you believe that?! That’s someone’s yearly income every 30 days!
Ok, I understand that he HAS to take care of his child, but that ho, needs to get a job!
First of all, anyone else but me remember that this trick didn’t even let him in the delivery room?! As my friend Ernest would say, “That B@tch was Rude!” And Nas – here’s a tip: grow some balls! From here on out, for $55,000 a month, you have earned the right to be where ever the hell she and that damn baby are for the rest of their lives! For that kind of money, you can now tell her who should be everywhere she goes FOREVER, since she did the same to you and now you’re footing the bill.
On top of all of this, she needs money for a nanny! A god damn nanny – for what? We know she isn’t making music, so why can’t this trick work? What’s the nanny for - so she can sleep through the night? It’s not like she has a JOB to go to in the morning!
I liked Kelis, I really did, it’s just, she needs to be a woman about hers, and take care of her responsibility! Yes, he’s responsible for the safety and well being of your child, but he’s not responsible for you and your expenses. Unfortunately, Nas had to learn the hard way and is probably wishing that he would have never tasted that spoiled ass milk shake which has now left him lactose intolerant!
According to a TV Guide poll , 94% of Americans thinks Jon Gosselin sucks! Boo hoo…who cares? For one, what Americans are we talking about? The single mothers whose husbands recently left them with a truck load of kids? I don’t know and quite frankly I don’t care.
I for one, cannot understand why Jon and Kate are so popular. Yes, they have eight kids but so do Bomquisha and Maria from the block. Would we still care if they were Suzy and Iglesias plus eleven? Probably not! Maybe it’s that rooster of a hair style Kate rocks, that keeps the people watching but honestly they just aren’t that exciting.
So now Jon is out dating every Jen, Jane and Jess…he has EIGHT KIDS and was married to one of the most annoying, obsessive compulsive, controlling women I’ve ever seen - he deserves a little free time. And when Kate has her week of vacation off from the kids, she should go date every Tom, Rich and Harry she meets. It’s not every day that parents get divorced and are allowed two weeks vacation from their kids, every month - just ask the number of single moms around the world. There’s an idea? How about they take a poll of the number of single mothers who feel bad for Kate? She is getting paid LOTS of money to watch her OWN kids with the help of a nanny and clean her OWN crap?! Plus vacation, what more could she want?
The only losers in the situation are the kids who now get the privilege of reading how mommy and daddy SUCK!
I love dogs, I really do…I happen to have two (Gucci & Juelz) but do I think we should crucify Michael Vick for allowing other people (not him!) to conduct dog fights? HELL TO THE NO!
It’s absurd, and the people in the state of Virginia should be pissed that their government representatives wasted their tax dollars on this foolishness! Who really cares?! He’s paid his debt to society and apologized, what more do we want? A limb? For some odd reason, when celebrities make mistakes or commit crimes, we think they owe US something and the truth is they DON’T! People were mad at Chris Breezy’s apologize, why? Did he hit you? Did Vick’s friends pit your animals against each other? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Let the man live.
And of all people, Pink is commenting about how pissed she is that her hometown signed him to the team…can someone tell this ho to go sit on a hot piece of coal and burn?! I mean really, who does this broad think she is? People are saying, “Pink is not a fan of Vick…” who the hell said Vick was a fan of Pink?! He probably doesn’t even know who this chick is…I mean really who is she? First she’s an R&B singer with pink hair and now she’s this psycho rocker chick, who loves her husband one day and makes hate songs about him the next! Pink – I know you’re trying to stay relevant now that Lady/Sir Ga Ga has stepped on the scene, but here’s a thought…KICK ROCKS!
I’m sure Miley’s mother knows because her 16 year old daughter was caught by millions of teenie boppers around the world, twirling around a STRIPPER POLE! My little cousins watch Disney On Demand religiously, and to think that they are idolizing this sexually crazed tween is INSANE!
Riddle me this: How is it possible that we crucified R. Kelly for the infamous golden shower sex tape with a 14 year old girl, but it’s okay for this 22 year old MAN to parade around publicly groping this young girl?! And let’s not forget 40 year old Janet’s performance at the Super Bowl where her tit slipped out, the whole world felt offended. So why are we okay with our future leaders of America practicing to become strippers?
I like Miley, I really do, it’s just…SHE’S 16 and is constantly behaving in slutty ways. It all started when she posed partially naked at the tender of age of 15 in Vogue. Next, she’s flaunting her 22 year old “model” boyfriend and now the big shabang – POLE DANCING at the Teen Choice Awards (Go Figure!)
And for Pete’s sake, WHERE THE HELL ARE HER PARENTS? Oh, I’ll tell you where they are – Billy Ray is off somewhere trying to cure his “Achy Breaky Heart” and the mother is probably somewhere shopping with the credit card she recently confiscated from the little twit!
With all the hoopla surrounding Sir Drake’s single, “Best I Ever Had” one would expect a video that was worthy of several MTV video music awards, instead we got one of the most low budget videos since that damn Glitter video. IT’S GARBIDO!
The worst part is, it took him three months to release a video to a song that was already played out. Give me a freakin’ break…you’re NOT THAT HOT!
And, he my friends is NOT THE BEST I’VE EVER HEARD! Grown women have been running around saying that it’s so refreshing to hear a rapper not disrespecting women…WHAT?! Stupid tricks, they’re so used to being called out of their name, that when a man just talks about all the sex he has with her, it’s refreshing! I wonder what these same women were saying after they saw the video that features, big boobed video ho’s, dressed in bootie shorts, stretching and bouncing up-and-down pretending to be basketball players? Still think he respects women?
And what the heck was Kanye thinking when he directed this? Oh, did you think it was a coincidence that the man who makes multi-million dollar short films for videos, would direct this $800 bullshit that my little sister could have created for free? No, that “Ego” of his would never direct something that would compete with his own work! Hell, I don’t blame him, I actually respect it.
So Drake, my advice to you…take the public’s advice and stick with little miss Rih-Rih; I’m sure in no time, she’ll ruin your career like she did poor Chris Breezy and then perhaps you’ll return to the Noggin channel where the only people that give half a shit about you are the little eight year old girls that performed alongside you at the BET awards!
